Category Archives: FEARS

Fear: Rejection

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http://jamieridlerstudios.ca/creative-sparkler-what-if

Open to What If JRS

I’m going to spend an hour and half each day writing to I can start getting back into the habit of writing again and so I can post blogs a lot more… I’ve been shying away from writing my blog for two reason… One is because I don’t make to time to do what I love and get distracted by everything that is on the web… Yes the whole internet thing doesn’t let be focus, I look for anything to keep me from what I need to do and that is write… Second is the Fear of Rejection… So I’m going to spend some time talking about my fears so I can overcome them… With the the image above I decide that today was the time to do what I fear the most… What if I didn’t have that fear anymore? What if I can being myself? What if I can enjoy what makes me happy again? So that is why I’m sitting here writing this… I want to write and not think twice on what I’m writing about and how others may think about how I feel… I have lived in the shadows of other people because I was afraid of what they might think of me if I wasn’t on-board with their ideas…  I love who I am and really I need to love me because I have to live with me for  the rest of my life… People can share life with me but I’m the one who knows me inside out…  So back to my fear…

I have sat at a table and not said anything because I have always been told not too think like that and well I want to think like that and I’m fine with the way I think… Everyone wants to be happy so I speak of what makes me happy… Now I’m going to act on it… I have kind of started, every time someone has started speaking over me I just say excuse me may I finish… I need to start standing up for myself when it comes to that… I’ve spent most of the time writing to myself privately because no one wanted to hear my voice and ta dah I’m speaking now… I’m not going to let people shh me any longer like when I’m mad I say things that I wish I’ve said in the moment and I regret it later and try to bring it up again so I can say my peace, but that makes matters worse… I know now when and what to say at the right time… Words and time go hand and hand, you just can’t say things that don’t relate, everything need to happen in a timely fashion… I been focusing on what means the most to me and cutting out the bullshit… Like right now I’m listening to this Music 2 Work 2 I had found on YouTube to keep me from getting off subject while my son is in his swing trying to fight his sleep… I’m going to practice to get rid of the fear of rejection and I know that will make me a stronger person to know I can get over my humps if I just try… Don’t let my fears own my life and free myself from other people opinion that harm me and open my mind up to the possibility of life itself…

Neko Hawaii